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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid replies, “Yeah.”

Did you know Sex is a crime?Its a misdemeanor – The more I miss de meaner I get..

Q: What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits?A: 20 class rings fell out.

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, ?So, tell me, how was it??Oh, it was beautiful,? says the man. ?The sun, [...]

A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cooksaw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner hecooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking andignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, ?Did I screw up thecooking…? ?No?, the cowboy [...]

How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper.

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???She choked…

Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can?t remember anything!Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?Patient: What problem? A variationDoctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?Patient: What pills?

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. Whilefishing, the old man starts talking about how times havechanged. The young man picks up on this and starts talkingabout the various problems and diseases going around.Teen says, ?Grandpa, they didn?t have a whole lot of problemswith all these diseases when you were young did [...]

A man walks into a bar and says “Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack”. The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says “Another”. The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says “Another”. As the bartender pours the third glass he says, “Mister you drink [...]

Doctor: Did you take the patient?s temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant,? said Edna to Priscilla. ?But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy,? Priscilla responded. ?He did. That?s why I have to take every precaution.?