An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lotsof friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed.Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there [...]

Q: Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog ?Buddy??A: Because it?s a BAD TIME to be yelling ?come Spot! ? in the Whitehouse.

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.When [...]

A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn?t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town?s football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend [...]

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man?s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender [...]

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That?s no way to address an officer! Now let?s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn?t stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don?t listen. How do you do that? Says the [...]

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.A cop pulled up and said, ?I?ve got to take you in, sir. You?re obviously drunk?The wasted wino asked, ?Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I?m drunk??Yeah, buddy, I?m sure,? said the copper. ?Let?s go.?Obviously relieved, the [...]

Two buddies get together and decide togo to a whorehouse, one of them tired ofdoing it with his wife all the time, theother not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up andcomes down and says ? My wife is muchbetter?. ?Allright? goes the other guy,? Let me go try [...]

Theater Guest A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ?Sorry, sir, but you?re only allowed one seat.?The man groaned but didn?t budge.The usher became impatient. ?Sir, if you don?t get up from there I?m going to have to [...]

As a man ages, it is natural that his hair starts thinning.It is a well-known fact that when a man is bald at the frontof his head, it?s because he?s a great thinker.Also, when a man is bald at the back of his head, it?sbecause he?s sexy.Unfortunately, when a man is bald both front and [...]

two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, ?My eyesight isn?t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me??.The second guy says, ?Sure! I see fine. [...]

A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way downa one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. ?Didn?tyou see the arrow, buddy?? he asked.?An arrow?? the confused driver said. ?I didn?t even see theIndians

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. ?One thing about Jim,? his buddy said to the bartender, ?he knows when to stop.?