The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the [...]

?Will the father be present during the birth??asked the obstetrician.?Nah,? replied the mother-to-be,?He and my husband don?t get along.?

There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, ?Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.? The priest said, ?Confess your sins and be forgiven.? The young woman said, ?Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.?The priest thought long and hard and [...]

A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cooksaw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner hecooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking andignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, ?Did I screw up thecooking…? ?No?, the cowboy [...]

the room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.?Ladies, exercise is good for you,? announced the teacher. ?Walking is especially beneficial. [...]

When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physicianexamined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient?s wife anxiously [...]

the limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport.Halfway there, the front tire went flat. The model said, ?Driver, I don?t have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?? The driver said, ?Sure.? He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn?t get the [...]

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.?I?ve got a beaut cure for a headache,? said his mate Trev. ?Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.?A week went by and they were in the [...]

One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating.The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what [...]

two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, ?You really ought to quit.?She, getting tired of his nagging, said, ?I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex.?He replied, ?But they stunt [...]

A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. ?It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,? she boasted. ?The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.?What a diamond! ?How lucky you are! ?Wait, wait, nothing in [...]

A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.They?re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure — she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was [...]

the newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee.?Guess what I got planned for dinner?? she asked seductively. ?And don?t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.?

this man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife?s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his [...]

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.After dinner, one thing leads toanother and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just [...]