A hitman runs inside a police station and tells 1st policeman he sees,

"I just killed a new Russian."

"Why did you come here? Go see whoever ordered this from you. We are not going to pay you anything."

Two hitmen receive a job to kill a new Russian. He was supposed to come home at 6pm, so they arrive there earlier to set up an ambush. At 9pm the new Russian still has not shown up. So one hitman says to another,

"I hope he is ok."

A new Russian is building himself a new house. He instructs the architect how he wants the things done,

"Here, I want 3 swimming pools: one with warm water one with cool water, and one w/o any water."

The architecht inquires, "Why do you need a pool w/o any water?"

"Well, you know, some of my brothers can't swim."

A new Russian comes to the doctor and complains,

"Listen doctor, I got a problem. I eat caviar, and I crap caviar. I eat salmon, I crap salmon. I eat steak, I crap steak. Help me."

The doctor says,

"Well, have you tried eating what everyone else does?

2 new Russians meet one day and they start talking how the things are.

One says, Yeah, everything is fine here, wife and kids doing great, so howabout you?

I declared bankruptcy for the 5th time, one more and it'll be for real.