A - Alcohol: The key to surviving High school

B - Beer: It's what's for dinner...and breakfast and lunch

C - Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after last night's party

D - Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic

E - Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party

F - F*cked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out

G - Games: Anything that involves cards, stripping and chugging beers

H - Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank

I - Idiot: What you look like after doing a lap dance on fat kid (after just three beers)

J - Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home at 5 am

K - Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers

L - Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol

M - Money: That which you no longer have due to two dollar draft nite at the bar

N - Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know...again

O - Oh sh*t!- What you say as you're falling down the stairs

P - Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer

Q - Quit: What you promise to do after spending the nite in jail with Bertha the Bearded Transvestite

R - Reform: What you promise god you will do while you're puking in the toilet

S - Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk... aww yea

T - Twenty-one: Usually the age where you reach your peak of drinking

U - Underage: Most of the drinking population in town

V - Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to make Jello

W - Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of the porcelin god

X - X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it (detox)

Y - Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end

Z - Zima: Zomething Different....Zomething Fun :)

A guy comes into a bar and asks the barman for twelve-year-old scotch.

The barman thinks ”This guy is pretty pretentious” and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch.

He gives it to the customer who takes a drink, exclaiming, ”This isn’t twelve-year-old scotch, this is six-year-old scotch”

The barman thinks, hey this guy knows what he’s talking about, and the two of them get into a conversation about where the customer is from etc.. .

At one point an old guy, who was sitting at the other end of the bar comes over with a glass and hands it to the customer. The latter takes a drink, and spits it out. ”This is piss! ” he yells.

The old guy nods and says, ”Yeah, but how old am I?”

A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left. This continued daily for several weeks.

Curious, the bartender asked him one day, ”Why do you always order three shots of whiskey?”

The man answered, ”Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, and since they’ve both passed on, I’ve continued to order the three shots in their honor.”

The bartender thought that this was a very noble thing to do, and welcomed the man every time he visited the bar.

Two weeks later, the man walked into the bar for his daily visit and ordered two shots of whiskey.

Surprised, the bartender asked him why he only ordered two when had had always been ordering three.

The man answered, ”Oh, I’ve decided to stop drinking.”