Published on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 by unknown As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer?s stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in Utah.The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, ?Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment.?The girl sighed and said, ?Yes Sir. I kind...

Published on Monday, July 30, 2007 by unknown A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: ?Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She?s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it?s not a big deal but it feels good.?The next day when they come home his wife asks, ?How was your day??The man says: ?Fantastic! It?s not only her br...

Published on Sunday, July 29, 2007 by unknown the strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.?Why don?t you put your money where your mouth is,? he said. ?I will bet a week?s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to t...

Published on Saturday, July 28, 2007 by unknown A man was interviewing for a sales representative. One candidate wouldhave been ideal for the position except that he had a disconcertingmannerism. He kept winking.?Look here, I?d like to give you the job, you?ve got good referencesand experience. The trouble is this trick you?ve got of winking all thetime, it might put our customers off.?No worries.? the candidate re...

Published on Friday, July 27, 2007 by unknown Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director?s office. ?What is the meaning of this?? the director asked. ?When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you?ve ever held.?Well,? the young man replied ?in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with ...

Published on Thursday, July 26, 2007 by unknown Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don?t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can?t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don?t want them to know it. (more...)...

Published on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 by unknown A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. ?Open these if you run up against a problem you don?t think you can solve,? he said. Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really ca...

Published on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 by unknown A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.?I?ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,? he announced. ?Will the laziest man please put his hand up.?Nine hands went up.?Why didn?t you put your hand up?? he asked the tenth man.?Too much trouble,? came the reply. (more....

Published on Monday, July 23, 2007 by unknown the Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level managers.?Now that?s entirely false.? she cried. ?I took the easy route and slept with anyone who mattered at least twice.? (more...)...

Published on Sunday, July 22, 2007 by unknown A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made ?Tickle me Elmo dolls?. It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty m...

Published on Saturday, July 21, 2007 by unknown the crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. ?I?m sorry, he?s dead,? was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: ?I used to be one of his junior associates, and I...

Published on Friday, July 20, 2007 by unknown Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, ?I want to open a fucking checking account?. ?Please sir?, she replies, ?we can?t have language like that in here.? ?Why the Fuck not?? he asked. ?Sir,? Came her retort, ?I must ask you to refrain from swearing.? ?I don?t give a shit what you want,? he answers, ?I just want to open a fucki...

Published on Thursday, July 19, 2007 by unknown After working together for a while, Dick and Jane?s office romance blossomed, and they really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Dick finds Jane very tight, and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Dick says to her, ?If I had known you were a virgin,...

Published on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 by unknown A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning.He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by thenext Monday. ?Downsizing.?He?s really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and itdoesn?t seem fair. So for the next 2 days he racks his brain trying tofigure out who to fire. On Tuesday afternoon he sees Jack and Jills...

Published on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 by unknown two accountants were discussing a colleague?s interest in one of the firm?s new secretaries. ?I just don?t get it.? said one. ?She?s an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs.?That may be true,? replied the other, ?but I don?t think that?s the floor he?s getting off on.? (more...)...