01 worldwide jokes » Funniest new russian jokes http://www.anecdotoff.com funny jokes, funny pictures, funny video from all over the world Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:45:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Two New Russians Conversation http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/17/two-new-russians-conversation.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/17/two-new-russians-conversation.html#comments Mon, 17 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2530 Two new Russians meet one day. One asks, “How’s life man?”

“GREAT! You know, I have a big house in Florida, two castles: one in greece and one in portugal, a 3 story flat in moscow, a yacht at my personal dock in Miami, my wife just got breasts enlarged, and my mistress looks like Cindy Crawford. By the way, can I borrow 100 bucks?”

“Ok, but first kiss me in the shoulder.”

“Shoulder? what for?”

“Well, you started from far away as well.”

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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/17/two-new-russians-conversation.html/feed 0 I Just Killed A New Russian http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/16/i-just-killed-a-new-russian.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/16/i-just-killed-a-new-russian.html#comments Sun, 16 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2521 A hitman runs inside a police station and tells 1st policeman he sees,

“I just killed a new Russian.”

“Why did you come here? Go see whoever ordered this from you. We are not going to pay you anything.”


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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/16/i-just-killed-a-new-russian.html/feed 0 Job To Kill A New Russian http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/15/job-to-kill-a-new-russian.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/15/job-to-kill-a-new-russian.html#comments Sat, 15 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2520 Two hitmen receive a job to kill a new Russian. He was supposed to come home at 6pm, so they arrive there earlier to set up an ambush. At 9pm the new Russian still has not shown up. So one hitman says to another,

“I hope he is ok.”


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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/15/job-to-kill-a-new-russian.html/feed 0 New Russian New House http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/14/new-russian-new-house.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/14/new-russian-new-house.html#comments Fri, 14 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2524 A new Russian is building himself a new house. He instructs the architect how he wants the things done,

“Here, I want 3 swimming pools: one with warm water one with cool water, and one w/o any water.”

The architecht inquires, “Why do you need a pool w/o any water?”

“Well, you know, some of my brothers can’t swim.”


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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/14/new-russian-new-house.html/feed 0 New Russian Way To Spend $1.000.000 http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/13/new-russian-way-to-spend-1000000-bucks.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/13/new-russian-way-to-spend-1000000-bucks.html#comments Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2526 A new Russian is asked, “What would you do if you had $1,000,000?”
“I’d pay off my debts.”
“What about the rest?”
“Well, others will have to wait until I get some more money.”

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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/13/new-russian-way-to-spend-1000000-bucks.html/feed 0 New Russian Favorite Book http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/12/new-russian-favorite-book.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/12/new-russian-favorite-book.html#comments Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 Ofiget http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2525 A new Russian is asked, “What is your favorite book?”
“My checkbook.”

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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/12/new-russian-favorite-book.html/feed 0 New Russian Visit Doctor http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/11/new-russian-visit-doctor.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/11/new-russian-visit-doctor.html#comments Tue, 11 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 FunnyPress http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2523 A new Russian comes to the doctor and complains,

“Listen doctor, I got a problem. I eat caviar, and I crap caviar. I eat salmon, I crap salmon. I eat steak, I crap steak. Help me.”

The doctor says,

“Well, have you tried eating what everyone else does?


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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/11/new-russian-visit-doctor.html/feed 0 5Th New Russians Bankruptcy http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/10/5th-new-russians-bankruptcy.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/10/5th-new-russians-bankruptcy.html#comments Mon, 10 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 FunnyPress http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2522 2 new Russians meet one day and they start talking how the things are.

One says, Yeah, everything is fine here, wife and kids doing great, so howabout you?

I declared bankruptcy for the 5th time, one more and it’ll be for real.


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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/10/5th-new-russians-bankruptcy.html/feed 0 New Russian TV http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/09/new-russian-tv.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/09/new-russian-tv.html#comments Sun, 09 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 TipoTurbo http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2638 A boy and his family are invited to attend a party at a New Russian?s mansion. The boy is amazed to see a huge TV, which looks as if it?s been cast from solid gold. He takes a deep breath and asks the host, “Excuse me, sir?is this TV made of gold?”
“Yes it is,” the New Russian replies casually. “Twenty-four-carat solid gold, to be exact.”
“But how do you watch it?” the boy asks, obviously confused.
“It?s not for watching, son. It?s for showing.”

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]]> http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/09/new-russian-tv.html/feed 0 New Russian In Bolshoy Theater http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/08/new-russian-in-bolshoy-theater.html http://www.anecdotoff.com/2006/07/08/new-russian-in-bolshoy-theater.html#comments Sat, 08 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000 TipoTurbo http://127.0.0.1/wp/wordpress/?p=2640 One New Russian says to another: “I went to the Bolshoy Theater yesterday; I had so much fun!”
“Watching an opera!? How is that?”
“Our hockey payers beat the Canadians in the final game!”
“In a theater?”
“No, I was watching TV in the theater?s snack bar.”

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