Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy [...]

This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes [...]

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower7. Draw up list of who?s naughty, who?s nice and who can?t run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 05305. You open a gift and surprise! It?s a [...]

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. ?What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?? ?Throw out an anchor, sir,? the student replied. ?What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?? ?Throw out another anchor, sir.? ?And if another terrific [...]

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far [...]

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, ?Halt, who goes there?? The chauffeur, a corporal, says, ?General [...]

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That?s no way to address an officer! Now let?s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!

One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don?t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to ?secure a building,? they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend [...]

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, [...]

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, [...]

The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.At the scene, the cop told the Marines to ?cover? him as he approched the store (to police, ?cover? means to point your weapons in the [...]

An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: ?Hey, [...]

First soldier: ?Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you??Second soldier: ?No way, Jose! ?First soldier: ?Whyever not??Second soldier: ?It?s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert! ?

You?ve all heard of the Air Force?s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as ?Area 51?? Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their ?secret? base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The [...]

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out ?Sir, Good Evening, Sir! ?The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and [...]