HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM2. Insert card3. Enter PIN and account4. Take cash, card and receipt5. Drive away

this fellow was screwing his best friend?s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. ?What the hell is your problem?? the lady asked. ?I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,? the man moaned. The lady reached [...]

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands?SAGE: Clever men don?t BECOME husbands!

One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy?s car in the girl?s driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand.She froze, jumped up and said, ?I?ve got two words for you, DROP DEAD! ?Then he [...]

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. ?Congratulations,? said the nurse, ?but don?t you think this is enough?? The woman replied, ?Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.?

Old farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed.With a low voice he sad to his wife,?Maude, when I?m dead and gone… I want you to marry farmer Jones.?Oh no, I couldn?t marry anyone after you! ? Maude replies.?But I want you to, Maude.?But why?? Maude asks.?Because that no good son of [...]

Conversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not – don?t you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn?t you remarry? MAN: Okay, I?d get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) [...]

If women don?t fool around, and men do fool around, whoare the men fooling around with?

A guy was trying to console a friend who?d just found his wifein bed with another man.?Get over it, buddy,? he said. ?It?s not the end of the world.? ?It?s all right for you to say,? answered his buddy. ?But whatif you came home one night and caught another man in bed withyour wife?? The [...]

the nervous young bride became irritated by her husband?s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. ?I demand proper manners in bed,? she declared, ?just as I do at the dinner table.?Amused by his wife?s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. ?Is that better?? he [...]

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ?I?ve got a big problem doctor? Every time we?re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell.? ?MY dear,? the shrink said, ?that?s completely natural. I don?t see what problem is?? ?The problem is,? she complained, ?It wakes me up.?

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven?t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, ?It?s OK. We get it on every week [...]

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, ?You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again! ? Tryinghis best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, [...]

What?s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?Outlaws are wanted.

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. ?HA! ? he snorted. ?The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest! ? On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, [...]