50 reasons to be blonde (blonde’s opinion): 1. We can get laid anytime we want.2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.3. We piss sitting down so it’s easier to pass out on the toilet when you’re drunk.4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.5. We avoid speeding tickets by [...]

What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes.

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a747.

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was [...]

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap – she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

A blonde and brunette sit watching the 5 'o' clock news where a man is threatning to jump off a bridge. The blonde says to the brunette "I bet you £100 that he doesn't jump" the brunette replies ' "ok, I bet you £100 that he does jump." Sure enough the man jumped off of [...]

One day a blond came home from work and sat on her front steps, sobbing. Her next door neighbor, whose name was Julie, went over to see what was wrong. She said, "My mom died today waahhhhhh-hhhhaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!" Julie invited her over for coffee untill she felt better. When she did actually stop crying, she left [...]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. Afterwards, he asked her how she liked the game. “Oh, I really liked it,” she said, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.” “What on earth do you mean???” “Well, I saw them flip [...]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, “Maybe I’ll just [...]

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. “Um … 22.” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell [...]

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her drivers license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my drivers license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first? The dumb blonde because smart blondes don’t exist.

Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “2 to 4 years” Couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered “C”. [...]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they dont catch anything. The same thing happens on the second [...]