I never actually grapsed the whole ?Trick or treat? ultimatum.Giving candy to grateful, adorable children or receiving a bag of flaming animal excrement on your doorstep-is this a choice?-Jerry Seinfeld

Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. ?It?s terrible,? she said, ?I haven?t moved my bowels in a week.? ?I see. Have you done anything about it?? asked the doctor. ?Naturally,? she replied, ?I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at [...]