An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like ayoung girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man andasks how old he is. ”I’m 90 years old,” he says.”90! ” replies the woman. ”Don’t you realize you’ve had it?””Oh, sorry,” says the old man, ”how much do I owe you?”

A question for Bill Clinton:”What was Miss Lewinsky’s most memorable feature?””She has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across”

What’s the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter?One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

A man took his wife to the doctors.After a short examination the doctor said”Your wife’s mind has completely gone! ”To which the man replied ”I’m not surprised.She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years! ”

A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, ”What’s the matter?” He says, ”Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it looks like it can’t wait to eat me.”

A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, ”if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, ”Absolutely.””Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.

Yep! It's possible when you have a lot of money