I went out with my girlfriend and asked her,”Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end upspending hundreds of dollars?””Because I’m a prostitute.”

A Short History of MedicineI have an earache...2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road? because, he couldn’t get his dick out of its ass.Sent by BL.STEVENS

Try to see the last line...

A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On theirwedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her newgroom, ”Please be gentle... I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says ”How canthat be? You’ve been married twice...”The bride responds... ”Well you see it was this way: My first husband, he was apsychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex. Catching her breath,she says ”My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to dowas............. Oh God, I miss him! ”

No lawyers allowed- Prosecutors will be violated! If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one ofthem, would you read the paper or go to lunch?

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood andBill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?Dan Quayle. He’s the only one who knows that harass is one word.

Real Little Johny like every real men!