If you do some acrobatics with a little mathematics it will take you far along. If your idea?s not defensible don?t make it comprehensible or folks will find you out, and your work will draw attention if you only fail to mention what the whole thing is about. Your must talk of GNP and of [...]

The following is supposedly a true story.An economist was about to give a presentation in Washington, DC on the problems with Black-Scholes model of option pricing and was expecting no more than a dozen of government officials attending.To his amazement, when he arrived, the room was packed with edgy, tough-looking guys in shades. Still, after [...]

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. ——————————————————————————–Bentley?s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! ——————————————————————————–Berta?s Fundamental Law of [...]

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, ?Didn?t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago??The businessman replies, ?That?s the accountant we?re looking for.?

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. ?Doctor, I just can?t get to sleep at night,? complains the man.?Have you tried counting sheep?? inquired the doctor.The accountant replied, ?That?s the problem, Doc. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find [...]

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, ?I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.?The shepherd thinks it over. It?s a big flock, [...]

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, ?What is three times seven??Twenty-two,? Kowalski replied.After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) [...]

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, ?I?m sorry I wasn?t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a remarkable [...]

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, ?You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir [...]

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.?As I?m sure you can understand,? she started off with one of the first applicants, ?in a [...]

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter?s college education?As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, ?I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest [...]

?The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You?re gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man.? – [...]

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, ?I?m a walking economy.?The friend asks, ?How so??My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression! ?

?I?m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance … she leaned over and pushed me.?

The banker fell overboard from a friend?s sailboat.The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, ?Can you float alone??Obviously,? the banker replied, ?but this is a heck of a time to talk business.?