Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy [...]

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.?What?s the matter?? grumbled the boss. ?Haven?t you got a sense of humor??I don?t have to laugh,? she replied. ?I?m leaving Friday.?

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn?t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went [...]

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan?s well-oiled economic machine. It?s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it?s something much more economically debilitating – and permanent.Three American [...]

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.Now let?s just hope that the unemployment rate doesn?t change.

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.Suddenly, from the [...]

All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.One guy asked, ?If our chute doesn?t open, and the reserve doesn?t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground??Our jump [...]

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent [...]

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing.Macintosh: All the [...]

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read [...]

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. ?There are only enough parachutes [...]

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: ?Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water?.?Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks [...]

It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he [...]

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, ?We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.?So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to [...]

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: ?I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with [...]