Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gatesof Heaven, and the angel standing there said, ?We?ve been waiting along time for you.?What do you mean,? he replied, ?I?m only 45, in the prime of my life.Why did I have to die now??45? You?re not 45, you?re 82,? replied [...]

A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife.He put a provision in his will though that she couldn?t touchany of it until she turned 14.

Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving [...]

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, The Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, [...]

The CIA once sent a mole, posing as a Russian student, to one of Moscow’s technical universities. Two months later he was uncovered. "Well," the spy explained to his superiors at the American embassy, "I couldn’t drink that much. Firstly, it was almost physically impossible, and secondly, even if I could, it would have been [...]

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. “Bill darling,” she breathed. “I’ve got a last confession to make before I go… I … I’m the one who took [...]

Bill Gates dies and is at the pearly gates talking with Saint Peter. Saint Peter says, “Bill, you’ve done some wonderful things in your life and have earned the right to choose where you’ll spend the rest of eternity. You can choose between Heaven or Hell, but choose wisely.” Bill looks over Saint Peter’s shoulder [...]

A student is floundering during an exam. "Your mind is like a desert, sir," the professor tells him in frustration. Every desert has an oasis, professor," the student replies. "But not every camel is able to find it."

What is the worst thing about our justice system? You?re leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people whoweren?t smart enough to get out of jury duty!

What?s the difference between a lawyer and atrampoline?You should take your workboots off beforeyou jump on a trampoline.

In tax police: – Where did you get money to buy MERCEDES? – I sold my FORD, added little bit money and bought it. – Where did you get FORD? – I sold my LADA, added little bit money and bought it. – Where did you get LADA? – I sold my SUZUKI, added little [...]

Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of [...]

It was the final exam for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would [...]

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said be quiet! [...]

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir. Just before his son’s sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, [...]